Wednesday, December 16, 2009

My Dad - The Last Chapter

I am back in Indiana now. Unfortunately I got here too late: my father died while I was on the plane. As you may imagine, I am devastated that I did not get to kiss him goodbye and tell him that I love him one last time. I was told that he did ask for me.

He was surrounded by people who love him and people that he loved ... except me. That is, however, very selfish thinking. I know he was in good hands.

I'm going to sleep now. My head is still spinning. Tomorrow will be my first full day without a dad.

Evan Thomas Singer
Born: July 3, 1926
Died: December 16, 2009

Monday, December 7, 2009

My Dad

No news regarding my father today. My God, how hard this is; holding it all together while he is back there holding on for life. I try not to think of all the times I looked up to him as a child and stared in complete awe at the things he did for me. It would be too hard.

When you are a child your parents are God and he was mine. He was strong, kind, funny, and I always felt safe in his company. Now he is suffering and there is nothing I can do for him. I have failed him. My heart is broken.

I do not want my daughter to suffer when I die. I almost wish I could get her to believe in some silly fairy tale where she would believe that I would be an angel, hovering above her, looking out for her well-being, always protecting her. Oh well, I need to snap out of it. I've actually been fairly strong so far. Dad would be proud.